Letter to Future Self (When You're Winning)

Hey man - if you're reading this, things are going well. The system is working. Life feels good. You're present, engaged, building something real. You're proud of the choice you made back in 2024-2025 to lock down your phone and reclaim your attention.

This letter is for you to remember WHY you did this, and to keep you from getting complacent.

Remember Where You Started

October 2024: New city. Lonely. New grad job. Getting home at 5pm with nothing to do and no ability to fall asleep until 11pm. Fighting the urge to scroll. Feeling restless and bored.

The temptation back then: Just relax the restrictions a little. Just use Instagram to "stay connected." Just browse the web at home for "legitimate projects."

What actually happened every time: Stayed up until 2am scrolling. Messed up sleep. Rushed mornings. Late to work. Felt like garbage. Guilty. Isolated despite the "connection."

You built this system because you had tried everything else and nothing worked.

Look At Where You Are Now

Take a second and actually look around:

Your routines:

Are you going to the gym consistently? (That thing you added to your calendar back in October 2024?)
Are you sleeping 8+ hours regularly?
Are you actually present in conversations?
Do you have real friendships in this city now?

Your career:

Have you grown your skills?
Are you doing work you're proud of?
Are you the kind of engineer people respect and want to work with?

Your relationships:

Do you have a strong friend group?
Are you dating someone (or married)? Is that relationship thriving because you're actually PRESENT?
Are you connected to a church community or faith community?

Your character:

Do you feel like the boarding school version of you - engaged, leading, useful?
Or do you feel like the COVID-lockdown version - distracted, half-present, consuming instead of creating?

If you're reading this in a good season, the answer to most of those questions is probably yes.

Why You're Winning Right Now

It's not willpower. It's the system.

You didn't become a better person. You didn't "develop discipline." You didn't overcome your addiction through sheer force of character.

You built an environment that made the right choices automatic.

The system works because:

No browsers on personal devices = no way to fall into the scroll-hole at home
Parent Mac far away (or inaccessible) = no way to relax restrictions in weak moments
Work Mac at work only = clear boundaries between productivity and rest
Boredom at home = forced into real life (gym, friends, reading, learning)

You are winning because the system is doing the heavy lifting.

Don't forget that.

The Danger Of Success

Here's the trap: When things are going well, you'll be tempted to think you don't need the system anymore.

You'll think:

"I've built good habits now, I can handle a normal phone"
"I'm in a better place mentally, I won't fall back into old patterns"
"I've proven I can do this, now I can relax a bit"
"My life is full enough now that scrolling won't take over"

This is a lie your brain tells you.

Remember the data from 2024-2025:

Strict system → thriving
"Minor flexibility" → everything falls apart within days

That hasn't changed just because you're doing well now.

In fact, you're doing well BECAUSE the system is still in place.

What Research Says (And Your Own Experience Proves)

Habit extinction: Just because you haven't scrolled in months/years doesn't mean the neural pathway is gone. It's dormant. The moment you give it access again, it reactivates FAST.

Environmental dependence: Your good habits are tied to your environment (restricted phone, boring home, forced outside). Change the environment, lose the habits.

Regression to baseline: 70-80% of people who remove restrictions after "building discipline" relapse within weeks. You've already proven you're in that 70-80% (every time you relaxed restrictions in 2024-2025, you relapsed).

Your own data: Every. Single. Time. You gave yourself flexibility, you fell apart.

Why would it be different now?

Questions To Ask Yourself (Be Honest)

Before you even THINK about relaxing the system, ask yourself:

1. What would I gain?

Ability to browse freely at home? (For what? You have work Mac for legitimate needs)
Social media access? (To see other people's highlight reels? To compare your real life to their fake life?)
"Normalcy"? (Being like everyone else who's distracted and half-present?)

2. What would I risk?

The sleep schedule you've built
The gym habit that's now automatic
The relationships that are thriving because you're present
The career growth that's happening because you're focused
The version of yourself you've worked so hard to become

3. Is the gain worth the risk?

Be honest. Really honest.

If you're in a good place right now, it's BECAUSE of the system, not in spite of it.

Remember The Mission

You didn't build this system to "fix a problem" and then go back to normal.

You built this system to reclaim the life you had in boarding school - engaged, present, leading, useful, connected to community and faith.

You built this system to not waste your twenties on apps designed to addict you.

You built this system to be present for the people you love - friends, future partner (or current partner), future kids, community.

That mission hasn't changed just because you're winning right now.

If anything, the mission is MORE important now because you actually have something to protect.

A Challenge For Future You

If you're reading this and thinking "maybe I can relax things a bit now," I challenge you to this:

Write down exactly what you want to change and why.

Be specific:

What restriction do you want to remove?
What do you think you'll gain?
What's the actual need (not the rationalization)?

Then sit on it for 2 weeks.

Don't make the change. Just sit with the desire.

If after 2 weeks you still think it's a good idea, re-read:

This letter
The main reference document (phone-system-reference.md)
The "Evidence" section specifically (times when you relaxed and it fell apart)

Then ask yourself: "Is this actually wisdom, or is this my addiction finding a new rationalization?"

Odds are, it's the latter.

Final Word (To The Winning Version Of You)

You're doing great. Keep going.

The fact that life is good right now is PROOF that the system works, not proof that you don't need it anymore.

Don't fix what isn't broken.

Don't trade what's working for the illusion of "normalcy."

Don't sacrifice the life you've built for the temporary comfort of fitting in with people who are distracted and miserable.

You know what you're building. You know why it matters. You know the cost of going back.

Stay the course.

The you from October 2024 - lonely, restless, fighting to stay present - he built this system for you.

Honor that. Protect it. Keep winning.

"I refuse to waste my twenties on apps designed to addict me. I'm building a life worth being present for."

— You, October 2024

Still true. Keep going.